“Nimekutoa mbali” syndrome – When men start quoting receipts after breakups

Ladies, gather around, because once again, we are witnessing a classic case of “nimekutoa mbali” syndrome.

The symptoms? Sudden amnesia about love, generosity laced with ego, and a detailed spreadsheet of past expenses.

The patient? A well-known figure with a talent for drama—let’s just say, if microphones could talk, they’d be embarrassed.

In a now-viral WhatsApp message aimed at his estranged wife, he wrote (and I paraphrase for dramatic effect):

“You came to me with nothing! Not even a decent outfit—just a vipedo! No passport! I rescued your child from St Kayumba and placed them in a ‘better’ institution. And now you insult me? You say I can’t perform?!”

Whew. Breathe, sir. Now let’s unpack this luggage full of pride and bruised ego. A man falls in love with a woman, showers her with gifts, upgrades her lifestyle, and helps her kids—only to one day use it all as receipts in the court of public opinion. Classic.

We’ve seen it with celebrities, influencers, and even Mama Ntilie down the street.

It’s as if some men think women come with a “Terms and Conditions” document: “By accepting this dress, this school fee, and this passport application, you hereby agree to eternal gratitude, silence, and a lifetime subscription to emotional debt.”

And let’s talk about vipedo—the cheap clothes she allegedly wore before the glow-up.

Can someone please explain to me how the same outfit that made you fall in love is now the punchline of your insults? It’s giving “selective memory”. I imagine her standing there like, “But didn’t I wear that same pedo outfit on our first date?”

Oh, and the passport. Since when did passports become proof of someone’s worth? Not everyone was born with a visa in their baby blanket. Yet, when things go south, suddenly it’s “she didn’t even have a passport”. Sir, this is not the immigration office.

What’s more painful is how children get dragged into adult drama. He proudly says he moved her child from “St Kayumba school” to a better one.

First of all, shoutout to St Kayumba school—nothing wrong with starting there. Second, why is helping a child now a flex? Did you adopt or audition for Super Dad of the Year?

Let’s be honest. If you truly loved someone, you wouldn’t need to parade your generosity like a PowerPoint presentation.

Love is not charity, and relationships are not “Simu ya mkononi – lipa kwa wiki.” You uplift because you care, not because you want a future monologue.

So here’s my advice to the emotionally injured: if you feel the urge to list everything you ever gave to your ex, try this instead—drink water, chew a carrot, and call your therapist.

Because when love turns into a ledger, maybe it was never love to begin with—it was a transaction dressed in romance.

And to my ladies: the next time someone says “nimekutoa mbali”, smile politely and respond, “Na sasa nimeshafika mbali. Asante kwa safari!”