‘Hatuchezi’ noise even in bars as Utos seek ‘justice’

The Bongo Premier League (BPL) is fast coming to a close, and those of us who are somewhat neutral are hoping against hope that the 2024/25 soccer season won’t end in an anticlimax.

Oh, yeah; what with the Jangwani-headquartered club, Yanga, aka Wananchi, aka Utopolo (Uto in short), shouting loudly and clearly all over the place: “Hatuchezi”, i.e., “We won’t play!”

That, even after a meeting between Yanga officials and the Premier League bosses met early Monday to find an amicable solution to the impasse facing the fate of the Simba–Yanga match scheduled for Sunday.

As I write this crap I call “my column”, the talk in virtually every drinking establishment I visit, the dominating talk, is the same—the talk on whether Bongo’s top soccer giants Simba, aka Makolokolo (Makolo in short), and their traditional jocular rivals (watani wa jadi), Utopolo, will meet at Kwa Mkapa for the much-awaited Kariakoo Derby.

 The derby, having been postponed on May 8 because Simba wouldn’t play on the claim that on the previous day (May 7), goons said to be Yanga commandos had prevented their team from entering Kwa Mkapa for their legitimate pre-match practice session!

Bongo’s soccer authorities later rescheduled the derby to Sunday, June 15, with the kickoff set for 5pm. Yanga, the match hosts and defending champs, and their massive number of members and fans have responded loudly and clearly, saying, ‘Hatuchezi.’ We won’t play!

As we all know, when it comes to soccer, Bongo is divided into two national camps right in the middle. Half of the football-loving population are Yangans, and the other half are Simbans. It’s said that even players working for other clubs, as well as their officials, without exception, are fans or even card-holding members of either club.

In my most favoured drinking establishment, which is a 10 to 15-minute walk from the place I call kwangu, Simba fans rule. Another favourite bar should’ve been a better location since it’s just a shout away from kwangu but I avoid it, not because it’s a Yanga stronghold, but because the fans there can be too noisy.

This is the place where the Hatuchezi refrain is heard most liberally. You walk in, and you say hi to some old-time drinking associate, and his instant response is, ‘Hatuchezi!’ I suspect he considers me a Mnyama, another aka for Simba SC fan, and that could be because I’m wearing a red P-cap, which I prefer during the evening to make myself more visible to crazy motorists.

A joke doing the rounds has it that no matter what your salutation is, when it’s crispy, like, “Mambo vipi, bro? That is: how are you, man? The response from a Utopolo fanatic will be: Hatuchezi!

My prayer is that by the time you’re reading this, sense will have prevailed and, come Sunday, soccer-crazy sons and daughters of this our beloved republic will be watching their heroes battling it out for the NBC Premier League trophy at Kwa Mkapa on Sunday. Amen!