For years, Ryan Murayah from Nairobi grappled with unanswered questions about his family’s history.
He was raised in a family where both diagnosed and undiagnosed mental disorders were prevalent but shrouded in mystery.
For much of his childhood, Ryan believed that his aunt was his mother.
It was not until his teenage years that the truth was revealed.
After Ryan discovered notes in the family home, his father confirmed that his biological mother had died by suicide when he was six years old.
“People are not comfortable attributing that someone is struggling. It will either be a family member trying some witchcraft, or she was killed. But having gone through some of her notes, I came to the realisation that she probably just got tired,” he said.
Ryan struggled with the revelation.
“Even right now, I can be told it was suicide, but you still have doubts because there’s no linear story about it, or conversation,” he said.
In 2017, after being diagnosed with clinical depression, Ryan began to alienate himself and avoided speaking about his problems.
He attempted suicide.
“There’s that analogy where people say, if you’ve had a dog and it’s sick, it knows its dying, so it usually goes and hides somewhere in a corner so as to not cause chaos.”
Ryan survived because his sister found him on time.
However, he refused to be admitted to hospital, citing the stigma surrounding suicide in Kenya.
It is one of eight countries in Africa – there are at least 17 worldwide – were suicide and attempted suicide remain criminal offences.
David Muba is the co-founder of Bonga, a free online mental health platform.
He is involved in the campaign to decriminalise suicide in Kenya, and is familiar with the societal shaming a suicide attempt brings.
“You become the talk of the town with a lot of shame. Families bury their victims secretly; churches don’t come to support the burial or to conduct the burial,” he said.
Mr Muba has been working with clinical psychologists like Kevin Gachee who works with patients experiencing severe mental health episodes.
They both believe that the current law is a barrier to mental health care.
Mr Gachee said: “There are a lot of people who are suffering in silence because they feel if they reach out for help and they talk about being suicidal, that they’ll be put in jail or criminalised.”
“There is the misconception of the whole concept of suicide, where it’s looked at as a character issue, rather than a public health issue or health condition in itself. Decriminalising it will go a long way in informing treatment and creating preventative measures.”
There is a global push by mental health campaigners to overturn punitive approaches to suicide attempts.
Ghana, Malaysia, Guyana and Pakistan have all amended suicide legislation this year.
Mr Muba said this gave mental health advocates in Kenya a glimmer of hope, although he admits their campaign has recently stalled.
“We are trying as individuals and people are trying as organisations. But I think the most unfortunate thing at the moment is that we don’t have a champion in government pushing for this agenda.”
“If we don’t deal with this situation right now, and look at this as an illness, and do not decriminalise suicide, the future generation is going to be one hard place to live in or to survive,” he said.
World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD) was established in 2003 by the International Association for Suicide Prevention in conjunction with the World Health Organisation (WHO).
Each year, WSPD aims to focus attention on the issue, reduce stigma and raise awareness, giving a singular message that suicides are preventable.
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please visit RTÉ’s helpline page
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